There was no question that I had used Hugo to gain valuable information and passed it back to the U.S. and Canadian governments. But I had also fallen... in love with Hugo, choosing to ignore the consequences of being discovered. There would be no rescue. I was going to die alone, in Germany, and no one would know until I missed a check-in next week.Finally, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. Slow and sorrowful at first, I could feel the pain seeping up from his soul. The vine-like angst. Still I felt there was more. Until recently, I had never really been in love, you know the mutual kind, where there is commitment. Five months ago, I met Todd. He is fifteen years older than me, financially secure and strong enough to deal with my job and still make a wonderful life. I moved in with him three months ago. Those months were the most fun, most stable and best months of my life. I understood all that two weeks ago and I understand it even better now. But still I screwed up and. She had clear skin and her pussy was clean. She looked at me and I slowly stripped. I was embarrassed about my hard on. She looked at it and laughed and said “ Its good to see that you like my figure “. I admitted that she had a great figure and she was fucking material. She told me don’t get excited that’s not happening.We settled down on the beach and were soaking in on the activities on the beach. I caught Dipti checking me out and she said, you are pretty good, not bad at all. Coming from. I collapsed intotears. I do not cry often or easily, Cindy. But at that moment I feltlower than ever before or since."It was a very strange moment for me. Even as I crumbled within, I feltalmost as if I could observe myself from outside. I saw myself in tearsand felt nothing but disgust. I berated myself to no effect. I calledmyself weak and a coward. A collapse was not something I could afford atthat time. If I failed at my job people could die. No, people would dieand that was simply.