It was in the newspapers. Anyway, you'd probably think that having a huge penis(I'm talking 3 pringles cans stacked together, I'm talking a lamp with ...a lampshade, like an elephant trunk) is a blessing- that I would be the envy of all my friends. Turns out, it's more of a curse- instead of getting the nickname "anaconda" in the locker room, I was called "mutant". The k**s used to circle around me and chant "MUTANT DICK,MUTANT DICK! LALALALALALA". I can still hear the faint echos of their. It was a riot! Anyone who dealt with Dan would deal with The Dude now, right, even if he wasn’t quite Jeff Bridges.Finally answering the door, he found to his extreme annoyance that it was Alycen, his soon-to-be ex-sister-in-law. What the fuck did she want with him, anyway? Was she looking for David? Too fucking bad. David had made himself scarce lately, thankfully, since taking up with that Jewish cutie of his. Dan told himself that if David ever screwed up and dumped Sasha, he’d totally hit. My father had given her a few money and I had some savings too. The first thing my mother did was to get sterilized. She hated condoms as I did too. She hated even more though, the idea of getting pregnant from me. So she had chosen this solution. It was easy, without pain and we left the hospital after a couple of hours. The distance to the farm was about 1200 km,northeast. It was in the middle of nowhere, practically,but we didn't bother. We had eachother and our love. We decided to spend our. "You've got the body of a twenty year old mum"She giggled and bent to kiss me,"Rubbish darling and you know it is, but keep telling me anyway" Then her lips touched mine in a kiss, she tasted of the alcohol and moaned softly as I snaked my tongue between her teeth."No darling" she breathed into my mouth, "We shouldn't, it's wrong" What's wrong about it mum?" I asked as I stroked the flesh of her thigh just above the top of her stocking,She didn't pull away though, not even when I moved my hand.