I felt the need to introduce myself as their neighbour and as a former employee and then set about describing what I wanted if not naming it. He made ...up a bouquet of white tulips and red Gerberas with a single dark red rose and a smattering of seasonal flowers. It looked wonderful and I exchanged it for two twenty pound notes.The journey to Wendover was crowded as it was rush hour and I had to warn a fellow commuter when they leant against the flowers in my hand, but I took a deep breath and. We are warmly greeted, and Lindsay gets up to fetch coffees for us. Cream and sugar for us both. Flor and I only need one seat. The catbird’s seat. She clings to her perch on my hip. We sit at the head of the table. My place.“I have a new guest on my ranch, I discover. An uninvited, and unwelcome, intolerable, adolescent male. “ Helena’s voice is calm and reasonable, but her eyes are shooting hot sparks.“Dama La Huesuda sent him, to replace Lord Will.”“La Huesuda my ass! Who is she? Thinks she. They were doing terrible. I realised they were not getting enough sun so I went to the field and pulled up two nettles about two and a half feet in length and planted them in the garden where they would get some sun.As the day progressed I was starting to feel horny and my thoughts turned to the nettles I had just replanted. I then decided that I will have a kinky night in on my own.So I gathered my props, tub of Vaseline, some old towels, gloves, clothes pegs, tissues, two shoelaces, a length. Enjoy.Part 1“Victoria fucking did it again!” I fume, skipping the formalities of greeting Lewis as I let myself into his apartment. He knew I was coming and I have the spare key.“No shit? Alright. You know where the beer is.” Lewis always had beer in the fridge. For all of his faults, he could be relied on for that.“That’s what I came for,” I say ruefully.“And to bitch about your boss, I'm guessing.”I pop the refrigerator open and grab the first bottle I see. I pop it and take a swig, glancing.