] and questions from you, Beta House at Indiana University, our first stop for XX/XY!My first show was underway."I sucked." I think it was me who did ...the sucking," Cassie laughed. "And you did not suck. They loved you." They loved that we were giving them a party," I said. "We can't give a party for every audience. That's like paying people to like you." They knew and we knew that this was special," Samantha said. "They were so impressed that you knew about their pledge competition to raise. Me. I laythere, soft and tiny in bed, still scattered in a million pieces, asscattered as the memories I riffled through -- a game of baseball inthe hot sun; the Boardwalk by the ocean, her on my arm -- memoriesseized desperately, seized to tell myself I was not who, I was notwhat, my hands told me lay there in this bed, what my eyes saw when Iturned my head to the mirror. I reached for memories as hard, as tough,as ... male, as cartoon male, as I could. Worried that I could not findenough --. Gi looked out the window at the tall saguaro off in the distance, there was one in particular that only had one arm on the left side. “Like a dildo,” Gi sighed and I knew what she was thinking. “Or a one-armed man,” I tried to keep things light and cheerful. “I still don’t understand why,” Gi’s voice fell back to the tone it had taken over the past few days. “I just don’t, you know, get it. What were you thinking?” “I wasn’t!” I sang the same song I had been singing since the door had opened.. “Four Earth light years, that is. About thirty-eight trillion kilometers.”“That is an unimaginable distance,” Fears No Darkness said. “And we traveled it in less than a second.”“You gotta love those circuit points,” Gath said. “However they got there.”The quarterback was shaking his head in wonder. “I must admit that part of me did not really believe the holes in the sun actually existed. The ancient tales tell us that it was a deception used to rid the planet of excess population—that you.