I remained docile andcooperative so I was let out of restraints and seclusion and allowed tointeract with the other patients.I couldn't remember ever ...being violent. I still couldn't imagine how Iever could have been. But my false memories seemed so entrenched Iclearly couldn't remember anything that had really happened in thepast.It pained me to think I was a bad person. A violent one. Even tellingmyself my mental illness made me so wasn't helpful. Trying to absolvemyself from responsibility by. And I was beginning to feel a little sleepy myself. But she had other things in mind. – Ready for a dip? – What? – Come on, let’s go in the pool. – You sure? We just ate… – That didn’t prevent you yesterday evening, remember? Chickening out, are you? – No, it’s not that… – So? – (letting out a sigh) Okay, let me go and grab my swimming trunks. – What for? I don’t want to get tan lines, mister. (she winked, and to my surprise, started to undress) – But… but there are… My sentence trailed out,. I’m the nondescript kind. If you walked down the street in New York you’d pass twelve or twenty others just like me in one block. I played football in college, and wanted to go professional, but wasn’t good enough. I get to the gym once or twice a week, but I stick to the treadmill or bicycle to get the heart going, and use the steam room, so I’m not out of shape but I’m nobody’s Adonis. After a few minutes I walked over to him and said, “Is this your first time?” He grinned, “Yeah. What. I know this and I know for sure that if I don't give you something else to think about, you'll go crazy about something you can't fight as quickly as you want. We both know this isn't as easy as a high school fight. Somebody slanders you on TV, you can't just deck them. This isn't going to go away that easily. So why drive yourself crazy thinking about it? That's why I'm asking you about your thoughts on Jacob. It'll distract you." You might have a point there. I don't know. Well, you want to.