If you want, give me a call and I might be able to hook you up – so you can cross that off of your bucket list’. I told him I didn’t know if I c...ould really do that…and didn’t want to pay for a hooker. He said, ‘Call me if you decide you really want to do it and I will see what I can do!’ For the next 10 days, that was all I could think about. I wondered if I could really do that. Then I thought to myself, ‘I’m old – and I doubt if I would ever get the chance to have sex again – much less have. If I'm not good enough for her after that? What if she tries to turn me into something that I'm not? What if she can't bring herself to go back to bed with her mediocre husband after all of this wild, crazy sex? What if she finds another man, more of a stud, and leaves me for him? It was just so much to worry about. I mean, God, she fucked another man and has his baby in her womb right now! That was the last straw. When did you plan to tell me that the child isn't mine, Roxie? When, please tell. Bahut tight thi uski chhot aisa lagta tha ki woh virgin hai, phir thori der bad maine apni jeebh uski choor pe rakhi aur chatne laga usne apni aankeh kholi aur dekha aur boli kya gandi cheez kar rehe ho maine kaha mujhe accha lag raha hai, usne kaha marzi aur maine usko choot ko chatna jaari rakha kuch der baad main ruk gaya woh boli kya hua ab maine kaha ab bus, shayad ab usko maja aane laga tha woh boli ruko mat karte raho maina kaha pehle tum yehi sab mere saath karo phir woh thori manane ke. I can see them shimmering on the shelf; a half inch platform on the sole, a triangulated toe all fixed and severe and the narrowest of 5" heels with a brilliantly refective metal spike. I am circling them, keeping them in the corner of my sight, pretending to myself that I haven't seen them, don't want them, haven't fallen in love with them already. I will not. I will not. I will not imagine my delicately sheathed foot sliding into them. I will not just slip my toes in and feel the light pinch.