You push me back onto the bed and tell me to just lay back and relax. As you lean over to plant a kiss on my lips, I get an even better look down your... blouse and into your cleavage. The planned distraction works, as you slip the loop of a scarf around my right wrist. With that arm tied down your reach over and do the same to my left wrist. As I try to move my arms I realize you must have tied the other end to the bed frame before I awoke this morning. Now that I can’t move my hands, you sit on. My gran opened the door to me and invited me in, “what do we owe the pleasure of” she said smiling, “I thought that I would come around and see you, I have not been here for some time and I thought you might want to see me” “ho, come here” she took me in her arms and kissed me on the check, I was tingling all over, “let’s take a look at you” she looked at me and then I noticed that mole I had seen just in the picture, the one just on the side of her neck, it was her and my heart raced, “I am. Suddenly a man's voice."There, cow, now you are permanantly sealed in your new skin."I'm turned around to face a mirror. My eyes widen in horror at the image looking back at me. There is a shapely, curvy figure, 5'6", 38-30-40D staring back at me, totally covered in a black and white patterned rubber suit!It slowly raises a shaking ball fisted hand to its face as I do the same."Wait cow," the man laughs,"you're not finished yet!"Hands fasten on the image's head, just as they do to me. Something. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m.; for example, it could be the right number.13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.15. Be careful about reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.16. The trouble with bucket seats.