I opened an internet video calling window, mindless of the cost to my limited data plan. I called Roberta. It was about two in the afternoon and she w...as at work, but she picked up my call.“Hold on, Johanna, let me go outside into the lobby,” she said. I saw her walking out of her office corridor. “What’s up, darling? How’s Germany?”“I’m in Switzerland, Roberta,” I said. “I’m… I’m …”I started sobbing.“Hush, hush, Johanna. Tell me everything.”The story just poured out of me. I cried as I spoke. I had barely finished putting my tools away when Becky's car pulled up in the driveway and the two women in my life skipped up the path carrying a half-dozen bags each.I greeted them at the door, and listened patiently to Lucy's excited description of every article of clothing she'd seen in the entire mall. Becky busied herself in the kitchen, preparing her speciality, Mamma Armstrong's Unauthentic Lasagne which, despite Becky's mother's resolutely non-Italian origins, was wonderful. We chatted. She stood about five foot eight or nine and had a body that would make a dead man drool. The way she looked at me, caused my knees to wobble. In fact, the first time we spoke was out front of her house. She actually laid her hand upon my arm and asked me who the grouchy old guy was that lived across the street. I was so numb with excitement, I could hardly make outwhat she was saying. I am sure she thought I was a complete dork the way I mumbled an answer then turned and ran.Mr. Stevens was a. Did it notgo well? Why are you crying? Baby please talk to me."The feeling of being betrayed by my parents and friends quicklydissipated, they were only looking out protecting me. Ironicallyprotecting me from myself, go figure. I quickly grabbed my mom in a hugand barely got the words through my sniffles, "I'm crying because...Because it went so good... What have I done to deserve you and myfriends... I had been so hard on all of you, for so long... I pushedeveryone away... Why have you all.