I had to do something drastic. Then I had a brainstorm.I thought. "If I joined the Navy, I would get to see the World and they would even pay me a few... dollars for coming along on the trip. I would save on Air fare and use the Navy ship as sort of a floating Hotel. I could wine and dine at the best places till my money ran out, and then I could fall back again on slumming it at the ships Mess when I had to."I figured. "How bad could it be traveling around in a Navy ship?"After all, if I could. I would have skipped the party altogether except for the fact that Danny Boy kept popping up through the floor at regular intervals to remind me that I had to go. I was tempted to start playing whack-a-mole with him, but the more reasonable side of my mind kept reminding me that leprechauns have really long memories and really bad tempers and will eventually retaliate if you do something nasty to them. I almost didn’t even wear a costume to the party, but Danny Boy insisted, so finally I did a. One woman behind meslapped my bare ass and made me jump and instinctively move my hands? to morewhooping and laughter. I quickly regained my grip on my shrinking member. Icould see that Nancy was enjoyingthis immensely and was in no hurry to finalize my humiliation. She took a seatdirectly in front of me and said ?now stand up straight and spread your legs. Imoved my legs a little. She said ?farther? I moved a few more inches. As sheopened the cell phone she said ?god damn it, you are going to. She was scared and didn’t know what to do so she came to me.I immediately dialed nine one one and asked for an ambulance. The emergency operator kept me on the line. Dhani’s contractions were so close together that I wound up delivering the baby myself right there on my kitchen floor with a lot of help from the emergency operator on the other end of the line.I had never seen anything like it in my life. I was only thirty-two years old but I thought that I had seen it all. On Dhani I sure had. I.