I know that my father and brothers weredisappointed in the fact that I did not act macho. I just wanted to beme and did not think that it is wrong fo...r a man to be sensitive and intouch with his feelings.I guess I have been a quiet dreamer all of my life. I liked to enjoy thebeauty of roses and the other flowers in bloom. I loved to smell thefragrance of fresh cut grass. I enjoyed the gurgling of a water fall orthe babbling of a brook. Maybe this may make me seem like less of a man,compared. I had donned a white silk shirt under a black skirt suit with heels, black stockings and a silly little collar they wear. My dresser came in, Veronica or Ronny, a woman of about 45 and butch in a feminine sort of way. Don’t ask me to explain, you either get it or you don’t. She bore my wig like I was about to be crowned. She had a wicked sense of humour and, like me, was as gay as you like and in her words ‘loosely attached’ to a woman who lived in America but quite often ‘pops over for a bit. " You mean, you weren't a Muslim woman before?" I was neither." What?" I replied, astonished to find someone else who was born malebut had now become female so quickly after becoming female myself."Yeah, look," Nas said showing me some pictures of another woman dressedas a playboy bunny. "Ths is Steve in his playboy bunny costume. He wasthe man groping me in the picture on the website but she's called Sumeranow. It means Princess. She's had a few men grope her now as shedidn't seem to mind. I still don’t know if I could do that now, though if I loved her, and her alone, enough, I suppose I could. I’ve grown up. Just like you have.”“Oh. It just took me longer? I’m afraid a had an early, middle, and late asshole period, and I got vile.” she said, soberly.“I got lucky, and course-corrected sooner. Some people never do. I learned hatred hurt me as much as it did others.”“I only learned that the other day,” she said sadly.“But you learned it,” I said, “and I am proud of you for.